This started Monday night with the pb chips. I had a pretty good day, too. Yesterday I threw in the towel really early. I couldn't keep myself out of the kitchen. I had even gone to the gym AND went for a 2 mile walk with the little one. Why do I do this to myself? Even after losing all the weight, my mind loves to play with me. I can make excuses, like it's the week before my cycle or how about stress? My brother has his other hip replacement surgery tomorrow, so I've been thinking about that. Or how about the news I got from my dad on Monday that the cardiac ablation he had for his arrhythmia helped, but his heart is still working severely lower than maximum capacity and he now needs an internal defibrillator put in, IN CASE he goes into cardiac arrest. That's happening within the next month. My parents have been through so much with my mom's battle with cancer last year, you think they'd catch a break. But does that make any sense? My father has to have surgery, so I should disregard my health and eat myself into oblivion? Well, it doesn't. And there's no excuse. I can't change what I did. Today's a new day and I am thankful to have it.
Hugs to you!! You are living through what happens to so many of us that use food for stress and anxiety. But all it takes is one second to turn it around. Look how quick you acknowledged it. In past I'd be eating like that a year before acknowledging it. So you're very intuitive! You can do this and I'm sending good thoughts your way!!!!
ReplyDeleteStress is a powerful emotion. Unfortunately, it's an emotion that's likely to be reoccurring. Pouring myself a glass of water, and sitting down, RELAXING on my favorite chair- focusing slow, deep breathing has helped a lot at times.
ReplyDelete*Sending positive thoughts your way*
I have to agree with holly. Myou did a mini binge...you acknowledged it....admitted it openly...and now you will get back on the wagon.
ReplyDeleteI am constantly trying to find alternative ways to deal with stress, emotions, etc. than EATING. a daily battle.
What I love most about blogging relationships is that we ALL know what it is like to be the one writing this type of post. We know the emotions, the guilt, etc. I'm just glad that you chose to share so we can all try and support you. I'm so sorry about your families health issues, it's very scary to hear and think about. I'll be wishing them well over here on my side of blog land. Try to have a good night!
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you posted this entry. I binged horribly Sunday...to the point where I was puking. And I was so embarrassed and disappointed and disgusted with myself. I felt really alone, too. Like no one could possibly understand. I had no excuses for it...I just kept eating. My brain never got the signals that I was full, so I just kept filling my belly up. I still haven't fully recovered, mentally or physically, from what I put myself through that day and what happened that night.
ReplyDeleteBut it helps to know that I'm not alone.
Marcia @ Minus 100