Before "Before"

Gosh, how many times have you all started a weight-loss program over the course of your lifetime? After reading this month's issue of Fitness magazine (the one with Katie's blog winning a Fitterati award for "Best Weight-Loss Blog") and discovering that 25% of women attempting to lose weight couldn't keep track of the number of attempts, I realized I am one of those women. Now, I never joined WW or NS or JC or did any crazy food restriction (I did try the low-carb thing for like 2 days) or do the cayenne-lemon juice- maple syrup-water fast where if you stay on it long enough you eventually hallucinate, but I have started my "diet" on so many Mondays I couldn't keep count.

1992

I'd say I averaged 2 half-assed attempts at weight-loss a year. I can remember my first effort at losing weight being as young as the age of 12. (One of my sisters is 3 years older than me, and so, being 15 and in high school, she was trying to shed a few pounds, and I went a long with it.) I had been picked on for my weight. I've always been overweight. I can't remember a time when food wasn't the love of my life. So, if you do the math... from the age of 12-37, multiplied by the number of times per year I attempted to lose weight... 50 TIMES!!! 50 times I told myself I was going to lose ___ pounds, be healthy, never eat another cookie, look good, be a size ___, wear a bikini (LMAO!)...

9/17/95- I SO wanted to be a thin bride... a few months later I would weigh-in at 234 pounds at my first ob/gyn appointment, pregnant with Charlie. My highest weight ever was 251 pounds at the end of that pregnancy.

So it seems the 51st time's a charm. I was recently asked many questions about my weight-loss journey during my From Fat To Finish Line documentary interview. The one that stands out is "What made this time so different than all of the other failed attempts?" I think what made this endeavor different was a combination of things. I was older, sicker and more tired of being overweight. The health issues I was having combined with what my mom was going through with her battle with bladder cancer made me realize the toll being obese was taking on my body. There was NOTHING good coming out of it. There was no "pay-off" for me, as Dr. Phil would put it. And the realization that came with one panic attack was that death would come sooner than later if I didn't do something about my health. It snapped me out of it.

On my honeymoon in the most beautiful place in the world, Hawaii, not enjoying myself to the fullest because of my weight. What the hell was I thinking with that get-up???

Creating new goals has also been a factor in keeping me motivated, keeping the weight off; something I didn't do in the past. Running has supplied me with an ample amount of goals to achieve. I'm constantly striving to run faster and sometimes further. This month I'll start my half-marathon training. To be honest, it scares me to death. But I think about how far I've come and about the people who have accomplished astounding things after surviving so much adversity (especially Matt Long) or I think about the people that would give anything to be able to do what I do, and so I will get through it, to prove to myself that I can do anything.

August 2007