FFTFL premiere

FFTFL premiere

Monday, November 14, 2011

If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say...

This was always drilled into my head by my mother growing up, and even still to this day! "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." Well, maybe that's a little harsh in this circumstance; maybe it's more "Think before you speak." Twice in one day, I tell you! I don't know if any of you have noticed, but I am PREMATURELY gray. I've looked back at old pictures and I've pin-pointed exactly when I started graying- AFTER my son finished kindergarten and the beginning of homework and school projects! So, I'm gray going on 10 years now. It's hereditary. I was one of the lucky ones- my sister started graying in high school. Thanks Dad!

High School Graduation Day- 1989

Today, it started at the gym. I was on the arc trainer next to my girlfriend from high school, chatting along. Another woman I know from karate, church and the gym comes over, says hello and then asks me if Connie is my daughter! I was shocked. That either means I look very old or Connie just got the compliment of a lifetime! I was a bit offended and told Fran that no, she was my friend and no, I'm not a grandma. She said don't be mad at her, we just look a lot alike. So, couldn't she have asked if Connie was my sister, for God's sake? I hope I wasn't too harsh on her, but it was just an ignorant thing to say. Kinda like when you ask a heavy woman when she's due...(put my foot in my mouth once doing that and I will NEVER do that again!).

So, I leave the gym and go pick up the little one I babysit at pre-k. We head out with the stroller for a walk since it was absolutely gorgeous out for mid-November. We come up to a house where our favorite pug Jack is always waiting for us to greet him. His "mom" and 2 little "brothers" are outside enjoying the weather as well. We had a nice conversation about the kids and pre-school, etc. She then asks me if Kaitlyn is my only grandchild! FREAKING UGH!!! No, no grandchildren for me. My kids are 13 and 15 and I'd probably kill them if they made me a grandmother at this point in time!

Me in NYC enjoying the complimentary fluffy robe!
 So my question is, does gray hair automatically make you old? Looking like a grandma? I used to dye my hair when I didn't have to, when I wanted it auburn or black. Now it's too much upkeep and an added expense I just can't afford. Three of my four sisters dye their hair- two are actually blondes now. They all would look like me if they didn't. My husband doesn't care one way or the other. He's always loved me fat, thin, gray, brunette... Would it bother you enough to dye your hair?


  1. You weren't put on this earth to please everyone. :) I wouldn't dye your hair unless it bothers YOU and unless you are able to afford it again.

    I think the first lady is ignorant. The second lady probably just assumed you were a little too old to be the mom so you must be grandma - without considering the full range of possibilities.

  2. Hi there! I've been reading your blog for a while now and having been meaning to comment. Congrats on the weight loss, the races and everything else wonderful that has come your way! You're doing a wonderful job and you look fantastic!

    So to answer your question, no I don't think gray hair automatically makes a person look old. However, I believe society has become conditioned to view people with gray hair as older. I'm not saying I agree with this, but I do think it's the case.

    I agree with Michelle here, I also wouldn't dye your hair unless it bothers YOU. Don't let what other people say or think get to you!

  3. Thanks guys! I think it does make me different, but does it bother me enough to change it? Not right now. Happy Thanksgiving!!

  4. Okay, this is an old post, but I'm catching up on your wonderful blog and just had to comment on this one. I started turning gray before I was 30, and colored my long hair for a long time, until like you said, it was too much time and $$ to keep it up. BUT, a year ago when I got to ONE-derland, I decided to get my long straggly gray hair cut off and colored and have been keeping it colored ever since. Only problem is, in that year, my hair has seriously thinned--to the point where I'm worried I'm losing it all. I don't know if it's the coloring, the highlighting, or the blow drying and curling iron that's causing it, or maybe the extreme weight loss (184 lbs. in two years), or maybe just my age (I'm 60), but it's very alarming! So I'd say keep your hair the way it is and you look frickin' fabulous!

    That being said--when my dad was still alive (he died at 83, 4 years ago), he went into the hospital for some procedure, and the nurse asked if I was his wife. Now dad was well into his 70's at that time, and didn't look any younger than that, so you know how old I looked, with my morbid obesity and gray hair. A few months later, my own hubby was in the hospital for elbow surgery, and the nurse thought I was his mother. You'd have thought either of those incidents would have spurred me to lose weight--but not until my doctor said "The EKG seems to show you'ge already had a heart attack," did I start my losing weight journey! (Subsequent tests at the cardiologist proved my heart was fine--but I was one of the lucky ones.)

    So enjoy your gray hair, and good job on the weight loss. I hit 139 a month ago today, but haven't seen the 130's since. I'm currently weighing in around 144-145, very close to where you are. I'd like to get back to 139, but this time of year....I don't see that happening. It's okay -- 145 is a healthy BMI for me, and I'm happy with that! I'm a world away from that morbidly obese, unhappy gray-haired woman who weighed 328 lbs.! If I go bald, I can always buy a wig, right?

  5. So, Dupster, did you open a can of whoop-ass on the nurses that said that to you? I get a little defensive when people say something ignorant! Congratulations on all of your success! I read all of your comments on Katie's blog and you are an inspiration as well! It is never too late to want better for yourself, right?!?